Between A Rock And A Sweet Place

Watches, chocolate, first-class skiing, army knives, secret "numbered" accounts. All this comes to mind when you mention Switzerland. And there's a new distinction: Zurich, the country's largest city with a small 350k population, is now the most expensive city in the world (Geneva ranks at #3). Even if The Economist hadn't told me so, I'd have figured it out by the spasms in my wallet every time I had to fork out $4 for a bottle of water that wasn't even a Perrier! Adieu to my dream of having a genuine Swiss "numbered" account. By the way, in Zurich one day there was a Thank You booth celebrating 100 years of Swiss banking. Said another way, 100 years of helping the wealthy keep their secrets.

Switzerland is a very unique country. It has four official languages (German, French, Italian and Romansh) and is one of the oldest neutral countries in the world - its neutrality guaranteed by international law since 1815 when the Congress of Vienna determined that "the neutrality and inviolability of Switzerland, and its independence from all foreign influence, are in the true political interests of all of Europe". And neutral, placid Switzerland seems willing to defend its independence with fervor: the country has one of the highest gun ownership rates in the world as a result of its military system that requires that soldiers, either professional or draftees, keep their weapons at home. Service is compulsory for men reaching the age of majority, after which he'll go through yearly or biennial training periods. Thus, Switzerland has an army ever ready to spring into action, not to mention that the country's major bridges and tunnels are built with tank traps, and the latter also have emergency demolition features. The Swiss really leave nothing to chance.

The country is small - 8 million people over 15,940 sq.miles (41,285 km²), slightly bigger than Connecticut and New Jersey combined. 70% covered by mountains, it has approximately 100 peaks close to or higher than 13,000 feet (4,000 meters) that make Switzerland a skiing mecca. I didn't ski...had I tried, I would probably be able to say I had broken a few bones but good though as they may be, a Swiss ER is no spa so I did what non-skiing visitors do in the Swiss Alps: I went up to Jungfraujoch, advertised as The Top Of Europe because it is the location of the highest railway station in the continent at 11,333 feet (3,454 km). The station is celebrating its centenary this year, and is reached by a cog-wheel train that traverses tunnels inside the solid Eiger and Mönch mountains. The station is touristy but you can get a feel for the Alpine wilderness by taking the trail that goes from the station to the Mönchsjoch Hut at 12,000 feet (3,658 meters), the starting point for climbs to peaks in the region. It's a breathtaking little hike - not only because you plow through the snow with a view of the Mönch all along the way, but also because at that altitude, you'll literally be out of breath before you can learn how to say Jungfraujochbahn. Make sure you're in shape. And make sure your wallet is also in shape otherwise it may need bypass surgery once you pay for the train ticket. However, if you'll be traveling mostly by train in Switzerland, it's worth buying the Half Fare card, valid for one year and entitling the holder to a 50% discount on all train rides.

But the sweetest thing about Switzerland is its chocolate. The Swiss are the largest consumers of chocolate in the world at 22 lbs (10 kg) per year, and I'm sure that if other countries had chocolate as good as the Swiss, they'd be eating it a lot more too. But why is Swiss chocolate so good? It all comes down to cost - cocoa butter is very expensive so many chocolate makers replace it partially with vegetable oil. The Swiss don't and your taste buds can tell the difference: Swiss chocolate is richer, with a creamier consistency and a lingering aftertaste that begs for more. True, it is more expensive and I saw one priced at $95 for 3.5 oz. (100 g). And while I was trying to figure out how much I'd have to pay for a little lick of what must be chocolate nirvana, my wallet went into cardiac arrest. But I'm sure that the chocolatier need not worry...they probably have a captive clientele in the anonymous owners of those (in)famous numbered accounts.