Zen And The Art Of Microwaving Martians

Kyoto pics

A 20-hour flight to the other side of the globe feels like a trip to another planet. If the destination happens to be Japan, then you’ll really feel that you’re on another planet. You may even think that everything is fine, that you’ll manage to get to your hotel without running into something that looks out of this world…until you must face a Japanese ticket machine with more buttons than an airplane cockpit – it’s a visual assault and in your jet-legged state, you get dizzy just trying to find the “English” button which, truth be told, may not exist (survival tip: look at the maze-like chart above the machine, find the fare to your destination, throw the money in and press the button with the fare amount you want). That’s just one example of the cultural shock that is Japan and Kyoto is no exception - Kyoto station, the entry point to the city, is a gigantic 16-storey building that houses not only the train station, but also a 500-room hotel, a theater, two malls, a bus station, a museum and several restaurants. A labyrinthine black hole that you doubt you’ll ever get out of.

Kyoto is arguably the Japanese city that most retains the country’s traditions and I was surprised to see many young women wearing kimonos. For the life of me, I cannot imagine any woman wanting to walk around in wooden flip-flops in a dress so tight that barely lets her walk but they must wonder the same about western feet-mangling stilettos. Kimonos are not the biggest thing in Kyoto, though; green tea is. Japanese meals are served with a cup of green tea and there are several other variants such as green tea latte, green tea smoothie, green tea ice cream, green tea cream puff, chocolate sweets wrapped in green tea flour. I overdosed on green tea and already looked as green as a Martian by the second day.

Kyoto was the capital of Japan for over a thousand years from the 8th to the 19th century. Called Heian-kyō, or Capital of Peace and Tranquility, the town lived up to its name for four centuries and became Japan’s commercial and cultural center. But in the 10th century, the samurai, warriors who fought for the emperor against the tribes of northern Japan, started to form private armies and the ensuing fragmentation of power led to civil wars and internal conflicts. From the late 12th century, the country was ruled by a succession of shōgunates (military dictatorships), with Kyoto remaining the official capital but without any political power.

Kyoto was not bombed in WWII and is therefore the only big city in Japan that retains a large number of pre-war buildings. Among those are Kyoto’s 1600 temples and 400 Shintō shrines that are the city’s main attractions. Their design is meant to give a feeling of peace and tranquility in a setting that usually includes Zen gardens, ponds and paths through hills or groves. It would have been very relaxing if the whole population of Japan hadn’t decided to join me. November is Momiji-gari season (autumn leaf viewing) in Kyoto and no matter which temple or what time of day, there were always throngs of shutter-happy Japanese leaf-peepers of every possible age, and sometimes it took me a very, very, very long time to take a single picture. At times it was very frustrating, but other times I stood there so long that I even stopped thinking; and in a strange way, the temples did what they were supposed to do – they quieted my mind.

The city was spared in WWII, but one of its traditions suffered greatly – that of the geisha. The word translates as “person of the arts” and earliest geisha were actually men dedicated to dance, music and poetry. The female version of the geisha took hold in the 1760s/1770s and like the men, they were artists and erudite companions. During WWII, most women had to work for Japan, and geisha numbers dwindled dramatically – while there were over 80,000 in the 1920s, it is estimated that there are less than 2,000 today. Furthermore, prostitutes began calling themselves “geisha girls” to occupying soldiers, leading to the misconception by many Westerners that geisha is just the Japanese word for prostitute.

Nowadays, the geisha tradition still exists in the Gion district of Kyoto. They perform in exclusive teahouses and restaurants, and only for select wealthy customers – the fee for an evening of entertainment is upwards of $1000. It is impossible to enter a teahouse and spend the evening with geisha without being introduced by an established patron, but geisha performances can be seen at annual festivals or cultural presentations such as the daily ones at Gion Corner.

While a true geisha performance is out of reach for most tourists, there is a modern experience that is as Japanese as they come and very accessible – sleep in a capsule hotel. I was a bit concerned that it might feel like a coffin, but I wouldn’t pass up this quintessential Japanese experience. The pod turned out to feel more like a microwave, it was reasonably comfortable and included a “sleeping ambient system” that dims the lights as you go to sleep and brightens then up gradually as you awake. And as I woke up to brighter and brighter lights, I was actually waiting for my little microwave to beep, signaling that I was well done. The shower hours were also a huge novelty – to 25 a.m. on weekdays and 26 a.m. on weekends. Fantastic! Only the Japanese to miniaturize the day and squeeze more hours into it!

Jokes aside, Japan is a fascinating land, and Kyoto even more so – a sprawling maze where the futuristic and the ancient sometimes blend, sometimes clash, a place that will intrigue you, astound you, that will overwhelm you with its quirkiness but captivate you with its details. And, surprisingly, one that will let you find peace and tranquility amid all the hum.

War Games With Lil' Kim

S.Korea pics

“…confronted each other hostilely much like southern and northern halves of a partitioned nation”. This could very well have been written about contemporary North and South Korea, but it was actually penned in the early 8th century about the kingdoms of Shilla and Parhae that occupied the Korean peninsula, and were separated by a wall that ran from present-day Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea, in the west to the Sea of Japan in the east. Fast forward to the 21st century, and history repeats itself – the same peninsula cut in half by a Demilitarized Zone or DMZ.

The origins of the DMZ date back to WWII: it was a line drawn at the 38th parallel of Japanese-occupied Korea to mark the areas in which American and Soviet forces would receive Japanese surrender. The US viewed an occupation of Korea as crucial to the postwar stabilization of the Pacific, and set up a three-year military government below the 38th parallel while the Soviets did the same above it. By 1948, two separate republics existed and in mid-1950, the North invaded the South, igniting the Korean War. Three years and two million+ lost lives later, an armistice was reached that restored the old border and created the DMZ, a 2.5-mile wide buffer zone between the two Koreas, nowadays the most heavily militarized border in the world (the irony won’t be lost on anyone) and a major tourist attraction. It should be noted though that a formal peace treaty was never signed.

On the northern side of the DMZ is North Korea, the most isolated country in the world with less than 2,000 Western visitors per year, and where mobile phones and the internet are non-existent. The country is highly militarized, with a minimum 6-year military service for men, and ruled with an iron fist by the Kim dynasty with a vast propaganda machine that promotes a personality cult of the “Supreme Leader”, currently Kim Jong-il, or Lil’ Kim, as I call him. His official biography claims that his birth was foretold by a swallow and marked by the appearance of a double rainbow and a new star in the sky! No wonder Lil’ Kim’s ego is larger than a communist square. And like any other megalomaniac dictator, Lil’ Kim wants perennial power, thus the brinkmanship and nuclearization of the country.

Incidents between the two Koreas are nothing new, but the November 23rd attack on an insignificant South Korean island of some 1,300 inhabitants was one of the most serious recently. And it was not the first this year - in March, North Korea also sank a South Korean naval ship killing 46 soldiers. Many South Koreans think this is enough and support retaliation. The battle of words has started - the new South Korean defense minister said his country will respond with airstrikes if North Korea attacks again and joint US-South Korea military drills took place last week; North Korea warns that these drills could lead to an “all-out war any time”. The stage is set for escalation of hostilities…and one can only hope that Lil’ Kim is not as deranged as he seems to be.

The now divided Korean peninsula was first unified in 668 under the Shilla kingdom with its capital located in Gyeong-ju in the southeastern part of the country. The kingdom had close relations with the Tang dynasty in China and the heavy Chinese influence/alliance lasts to this day and can be seen from religion (Buddhism) to philosophy/ethics (Confucianism) to architecture and trade (China is South Korea’s largest trading partner). Korean historical buildings mirror many that exist in China and tend to follow the same style so unless you’re a history buff, there’s no need to visit lots of them. My favorite was Changdeok Palace in Seoul, not only because it looks recently restored but also because it is one of the largest and doesn’t feel crowded. Morning is the best time to visit as bus tours only hit the palace in the afternoon.

Less palace hopping means that you can do more of what planeloads of Japanese come to Seoul for – shopping. Options abound, including malls that operate from 10:20 am to 5:30 am (!), providing enough hours of retail therapy to cure any emotional malaise. Just don’t forget to bring earplugs lest nonstop insufferable Korean pop music drive you to mass murder. And fear not if you cannot spend hours in a mall – sellers also bring their wares (and voice amplifiers) into subway cars so you can do your shopping while you commute. This is what I call being productive!

But more bizarre than mobile merchants hawking their merchandise inside subway cars was what happened to me on the last day of the trip. On the spur of the moment I decided to visit Bongeunsa Temple in Seoul and as I was admiring the Buddhas, I suddenly bumped into Jónsi, singer of the Icelandic band Sigur Rós, who has spent most of this year touring with one of the best shows I’ve seen recently. The odds of a NY dweller running into an Icelander musician in an Asian city of 10.4 million people are virtually zero so here’s my question - why can’t I be as lucky with lottery numbers?!