Death By 10 Million Wheels

Vietnam conjures up images of things exotic, of conical hats and yokes, of silk and áo dài (Vietnam's national dress), of bloody wars and destruction, of temples and pagodas. What doesn't come to mind is getting run over so let's start with a few survival tips.

#1 - There are over 6 million people in Hanoi's metropolitan area and over 4 million motorbikes. It feels like the other way round, though, so it is important to never forget the main traffic rule in Vietnamese cities: there are no traffic rules; bikers can pretty much do whatever they want.

#2 - You, pedestrian, are at the bottom of the food chain. Pedestrian crossings are meaningless and sidewalks are not for you. They are parking lots for bikes so if you happen to be casually walking on a sidewalk and suddenly see a motorbike coming straight at you, do not despair. It is not a communist trying to slaughter you, capitalist pig. He/she just wants to claim the space you're unduly occupying.

#3 - The art of crossing streets: in Hanoi's Old Quarter, there are more than 50 streets and some 4 or 5 traffic lights which won't help you anyway because vehicles can run red lights at will (there are no traffic rules, remember?). So to cross a street, do like the locals and just go but do it slowly. Never, ever, run. It sounds counterintuitive but just remember that if you move slowly, bikers will have time to avoid hitting you. It will work and you'll feel like you've conquered Everest after you've done it the first time.

So now that you know how to survive, you can enjoy. The heart of Hanoi is its Old Quarter, a maze of narrow streets that make up one of the liveliest, busiest, most hectic places in Southeast Asia. The history of the quarter goes back to the 13th century when trade guilds established themselves in the area, each on a different street which was then named after the product sold in that street. The tradition continues to this day with each street specialized in a particular product but while most of the trades changed, the names didn't so you still find Sweet Potato Street, for instance. In a way, I like it because you still see romantic names like Sails Street or Brushes Street rather than Plastic Toys Street or Xmas Ornaments Made In China Street. Two streets are a must: P. Hàng Gai filled with stores selling silk clothes (some can be custom made) and P. Hàng Quat with numerous shops selling Buddhist wares.

Bordering the Old Quarter to the south is Hoan Kiem Lake, an oasis where you can get a break from the chaos of the Old Quarter. According to legend, in the mid-15th century, Heaven sent the Emperor a magic sword that he used to drive the Chinese out of Vietnam. One day after the war, he came across a golden turtle swimming in the lake who then grabbed the sword and disappeared in the waters to restore it to its divine owners. There were indeed turtles in the lake in the past but there is only one left now known as Cu Rua (Great Grandfather) who many Hanoians believe to be the legendary turtle or at least its direct descendant. You can catch this and other local lore at the Water Puppet Theatre on the northeastern corner of the lake. Water puppetry is an ancient art form that appeared in villages of the Red River Delta in northern Vietnam in the 11th century, using ponds and flooded rice paddies as stage. Nowadays, performances are held in a pool of water, with puppets controlled by puppeteers trained for a minimum of three years. Shows last almost one hour and are very dynamic, with puppets weighing up to 33 lbs (15 kg) gliding or bouncing through water. You won't see this in any other country so don't miss it!

Within driving distance of Hanoi is Halong Bay, one of Vietnam's crown jewels with over 1,600 limestone monoliths rising sharply out of the water. Translated as Bay of Descending Dragons, legend has it that when Vietnam was coming together as a country, the Vietnamese had to fight invaders. To help them, the gods sent dragons who began spitting out jewels and jade that turned into islands and formed a wall against invaders. After victory, the dragons decided to settle in the bay so when you look at the endless rows of karsts, you can actually picture the backs of countless dragons. And I must say, these dragons are smart...they chose a place where they wouldn't need to cross any street.